Math Makes You Skinny

Twinkies make you skinny.

Need proof? I've got a CNN article from November 2010 aptly titled "Twinkie diet helps nutrition professor lose 27 pounds."

Oh my gawd, get me a box of Twinkies....or twenty.

Kansas State professor Mark Haub lost twenty seven pounds over ten weeks by eating total crap. He ate Twinkies. He ate brownies. Doritos. Zebra cakes. He ate everything you're never supposed to eat if you're on a diet. And then he lost weight.

From a mathematical stand point, this makes sense. As long as he was eating less calories than he was using, he was creating a calorie deficit and bound to lose weight. So, by setting a daily calorie limit and sticking to it, he lost weight....and his cholesterol dropped. Take that Skinny Bitch! And again; get me a box of Twinkies.

So he's slimmer than he was when he started, and the typical health signs (ie blood pressure) look healthier. But is this healthy? The science is still undecided. This is one short run experiment, it's hard to take any lasting conclusions away. Except for maybe....

Portion control. Portion control is really cool (at least, as long as you're getting big enough portions to begin with). And portion control is pretty easy when all your food product comes conviently wrapped in plastic.

Not that I'm recommending this (just like I didn't recommend eating like Megan Fox or going vegan). Although it would be really cool if someone tried it again...

Arsenic and Brownies (at least you won't get fat)

I'm working on getting in touch with my featured food scientist. In the mean time, I did some research on the risks of being a vegan. What did I find?

Not much, and not anything that can't be easily fixed. Low protein? Eat soy. Low calcium? Find it in certain vegetables. B-12 deficiency? Take a supplement....or cave in and eat a little bit of animal product each day. I'm sorry, but supplements aren't fun.

Ok.....so, that wasn't very fruitful. So, back to Skinny Bitch. I loosely remember it's abrasive and somewhat dangerous suggestions....

And so do a lot of people. One of my favorite reviews came from a feminist website (full review here). Like the other reviews out there, it points out that the book encourages eating disorders, fear of food, and seeing being skinny as being healthy. So eat arsenic, at least you won't get fat.

So, one more time, skinny does not mean healthy (Meagan said it before in the Megan Fox interview). And vegan does not necessarily mean healthy. Just like eating brownies doesn't necessarily mean you'll get fat...but more on that some other time.

Winners and Losers, VB6 Style

The VB6 diet is finally done. I celebrated this morning by eating some chicken product (an egg) and drinking some cow product (milk) because those are the types of exotic foods I like.

Any-who, it's time for my personal winners and losers of the vegan diet. However, I'll start with the winner of Silk vs Milk. I'd like a round of applause for Nathan Hastings, who has actions that speak louder than words. When faced with the query of dairy vs non dairy coffee creamer, his reaction was to drink straight half and half...in the middle of the restaurant setting. Congrats, you've earned your pint of cow product.

So....

Winners.
1) Conscious eating. I was very aware of what I ate.
2) Vegan desserts. I could probably ditch animal product desserts and enjoy their lower fat counterparts. Will I? Probably not. Could I? I definitely could.
3) It didn't make me bitchy. In your face, Skinny Bitch! While the Megan Fox diet made me crabby, I was in a considerably better mood for this one. Plus I got to eat food, not too much, and mostly plants. I felt pretty good about myself.
4) You could do this for awhile. Or at least adapt to do it for awhile, and you would probably lose weight while having easy maintenance. What I'm trying to say is, if you're a vegan model, it might work. Providing you actually eat.

On the fence about....
1) Food science and animals. The food science behind my coffee creamer made it pretty good. And I guess I harmed less animals in the long run...but I have my personal debates about that. For instance, if I took to raising chickens in my backyard and using their eggs for all of my needs, would that really be an animal rights violation? And maybe eating eggs won't make me Skinny Bitch thin, but it sure as hell makes me happy.

Losers.
1) Skipping out on whole wheat bread and salad because of minute amounts of animal product. It seemed a little ridiculous to skip otherwise really healthy foods because of the tiny amount of offensive material in them. Sorry Skinny Bitch, I don't agree with strict veganism.
2) Imitation foods. I didn't eat many of these, just the coffee creamer (and I didn't think that one was too offensive). But vegan Oreos? Give me a break...or at least a real cookie. And imitation meat? Don't get me started. I remember what meat tastes like, I know what I'm missing out on...and a flimsy tofu-ish cardboard flavored Boca burger only makes it worse if you still crave meat.

FINALLY, I'd like to announce that, yes Virginia there is going to be a wrap up interview....with a food scientist. If science makes you anxious, go eat a science free vegan cake. Even then, I think you'll find it interesting. So, in the meantime, go enjoy your crude oil! I'll have the interview for y'all soon enough.

Natural Flavoring and "How would you like your crude oil today?"

I was asked about natural flavors the other day. It was a good question. The answer seems simple enough...until you stop to think about it. So, I opened my mouth to respond, and what came out was something like this:

"Well...it's flavor...that's naturally occuring in food. I think."

Twenty four hours and a Wikipedia article later, the simple answer is...

It's natural flavor in food.

Or, according to the US Code of Federal Regulations natural flavor is:

"the essential oil, oleoresin, essence or extractive, protein hydrolysate, distillate, or any product of roasting, heating or enzymolysis, which contains the flavoring constituents derived from a spice, fruit or fruit juice, vegetable or vegetable juice, edible yeast, herb, bark, bud, root, leaf or any other edible portions of a plant, meat, seafood, poultry, eggs, dairy products, or fermentation products thereof, whose primary function in food is flavoring rather than nutritional."

Intense. So, if natural flavor comes from food products, what does artifical flavoring come from?

Well, they can come from natural chemicals...or crude oil or tar. YUM.

Oh wait...I think I'll pass on that. However, I will not pass on any food related questions you have to ask me. Keep 'em coming!



Look Ma, No Science!

If there's one thing I like more than science, it's cake.

I like cake, and I'm willing to admit that I enjoy it in all of it's buttery, eggy existence. Normally I don't have cake cravings though, so I thought I'd be able to just pass it by in a week of veganism.

Wellllll....not exactly. But I didn't eat any animal products.

Crescent Dragonwagon has a fantastic vegan cake recipe. The thing is, it makes a whole pan. I don't need a whole pan of cake. With the weather pushing 90 degrees, I don't need to go through the temperature increase of baking a whole pan of cake. What I'm trying to say is.......

I made a vegan cake...in the microwave.

Please stop cringing. It was actually fabulous--for a chocolate cake, nevermind being a vegan cake or a microwave cake.

Science Free Chocolate Microwave Vegan Cake
1) Mix 1/4 cup flour, 1/4 sugar, 1/2 tablespoon cocoa powder, 1/4 teaspoon baking powder, and a pinch of salt in a large mug. I used my Manet mug because I think food tastes better when surrounded by Impressionist paintings.
2) Add 1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil, 3/4 teaspoon white vinegar OR cider vinegar OR lemon juice (I use white vinegar, but the three should all work the same way), 1/2 teaspoon vanilla, and a 1/4 cup of water. Mix will with a fork.
3) Put it in the microwave for 2 1/2-3 minutes (it all depends on your microwave). When it's done, it'll look bubbly. You can eat it on the mug, or take it out in all its crumbling glory and cover it with fresh fruit and eat it on a plate.

Is this healthy? Absolutely not. It has 200% of your daily recommended sugar, and it's a little big for one person. But it is a fantastic cake, a worthwhile occasional treat. Bonus points if you share it.

And for those science loving skeptics out there, this is why it works. (In the most basic of terms. You actual science types might appreciate this explanation more.)

Ever make a volcano in school with vinegar and baking soda? Same kind of reaction right here--the vinegar (or whatever acid you choose) reacts with the baking soda, making fizzy little bubbles (you probably noticed the cake looks a little pock marked). This makes the cake lighter...kind of like if you beat egg whites and added them.

In the meantime, a close up of the Manet mug so you can enjoy your cake:

And don't forget to weigh in on Silk vs Milk!

Silk vs Milk, an Attempt at a Cruelty Free Breakfast, and OMG a Giveaway

It started off smoothly yesterday, with a nearly cruelty free breakfast....no I didn't have animals for breakfast, however that ant did NOT belong in my kitchen. To all the insect lovers out there, I apologize.

So. Smooth sailing as of yet...but there are some interesting vegan conundrums. And by some, I mean two really bizarre ones that have caught my attention already. If you don't like science or veganism, don't read them. If you want a part in the giveaway but hate bread, just skip to the second part.

1) White vs wheat. When making my own bread the other day, I had two easy recipes to pick from: King Arthur Flour's whole wheat recipe, and Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day's white recipe. I tended toward the whole wheat...until I saw that the recipe required 1/4 cup dried milk. Milk = not vegan. Artisan bread it was, the ingredients of which are white flour, water, yeast, and salt. Depending on your views on white flour, it's not inherently bad for you. Providing time and good baking conditions, I'd pick it over the packaged bread that's currently in my kitchen (although that calcium peroxide and sodium stearoyl lactylate is really tasty...). Still. Even the artisan bread website (hyperlinked above) admits by default that the recipe isn't the best for you--if it was, why would they have a competing Healthy Bread in Five Minutes a Day?

I'm sure there are vegan whole wheat bread options out there, I just didn't have immediate access to it. Being a serious vegan apparently takes serious planning. When 1/4 cup dried milk keeps me from eating whole wheat, something feels a little wrong.

I'm willing to call a winner here: I'll take the dehydrated animal product over the white wheat bread.

2) Silk vs Milk. Calling a winner in the first scenario was pretty easy for me. This one...I'm still conflicted.

Consider exhibit A, your typical half and half. Half milk, half cream. 40 calories, 3 grams of fat, neglible lactose, and slightly less than a gram of protein in two tablespoons. Ingredients? Milk, cream, and a preservative (at least mine had a preservative. You can probably get it without one). Skinny Bitch barely considers this an appropriate food (eww, you're eating cow product and you're GOING to get fat), while Michael Pollan would argue in defense of it.

Consider exhibit B. Exhibit B is scary. Go look at it. I dare you to. I don't even know why we have exhibit B in the house. It's a non dairy creamer (yay! Vegan?) with...a milk derivative? (Maybe not vegan. Actually, definitely not vegan.) Although flavored creamers are fun on occasion, on a day to day basis I think I'll take either my milk or no milk. Milk derivative? Geez, it's like drinking calculus for breakfast.

And finally, exhibit C. I picked exhibit C up at my local Whole Foods store after realizing I need some kind of coffee creamer because I like coffee. I guess I'm not a Skinny Bitch (they hate coffee. With a passion. And while it's arguably bad for you, it's food and I'm willing to defend it.). Exhibit C is a cute little pint of Silk Hazelnut creamer that, according to the bold print on the back, I'm not allowed to use as infant formula. Good thing I'm only using it as coffee creamer. Exhibit C is proud of a lot of things. It has "1/3 less fat, 40% less sugar and 40% fewer calories than the leading non-dairy creamer" (Coffee-Mate Hazelnut) and actually has comparable calories to half and half. 100% vegan, the ingredients are as follows: all natural soymilk (filtered water, whole soybeans), all natural evaporated cane juice, palm oil, soy lecithin, natural flavors, potassium phophate, sodium citrate, tapioca starch, carrageenan. Interesting because...
     1) "All natural evaporated cane juice" is sugar. Fancy sugar, but still sugar. Yes, there are benefits to it. Because it goes through less refining than normal cane sugar, it maintains more nutrients. According to this health foods site, it's a good source of riboflavin...although you probably shouldn't be looking to get your riboflavin from sugar. Anyways, I don't have a real issue with the sugar (I put it in my coffee normally, or use a creamer with sugar). In fact, this may be a winning point--more enviromentally friendly sugar already incorporated into my creamer? Alright! But as far as labeling goes, it's just a tricky way of saying glucose.
    2) Soy lecithin is an emulsfier. Don't groan, I told you there would be science. Basically, it mixes the fat and the water for consistency, bringing us to...
    3) Tapioca starch and carrageenan, both used to thicken the consistency. Leading to...
    4) This is an imitation creamer. In all respects, it's trying to be a flavored half and half. It tastes alright, and it does a good job. It's mostly natural, and the company has some good enviromental measures.

In summation, there's a definite loser: exhibit B. If I'm going to use a non dairy creamer in a not exotic flavor (I find an occasional guilty pleasure in a particular Italian sweet cream flavor), Silk has my vote. But Silk vs Milk? It rhymes!

I'm going to get a professional opinion on this, but in the mean time, feel free to weigh in. Who knows, a local someone may win a free pint of the winner. YES this is the lamest blog give away ever...but I really want to know.

So make a comment below, email me, write obnoxious Facebook messages, and give me your opinion on Silk vs Milk.

Introducing VB6

What do Avril Lavigne, Natalie Portman, Weird Al, Leonardo da Vinci, and Tobey Maguire all have in common?

Well, according to this list, they are all on or have been on a vegan diet. Vegan diet as in no meat, no fish,  no eggs, no butter, no milk...no animal products. None. Zero.

Sounds like fun right?

At least I'm already half way there (I've been a vegetarian for years). And I'm not going to go totally vegan. Instead, I'm adopting Mark Bittman's vegan before six plan (VB6...is the post title starting to make more sense?). The diet? You go vegan...until six.

Why am I doing this? Let's be honest, vegan before six isn't nearly as sexy as Megan Fox dieting, nearly as radical as Rihanna dieting, or nearly as ridiculous as the grapefruit diet.

As it turns out, there are some actual models who are vegans. So How to Eat Like a Model is actually *gasp* going to eat like a handful of models. Also, let me reintroduce Skinny Bitch. The book is basically a call to arms for vegans. So maybe I'm cheating by eating animal product after six but...

Michael Pollan (author of all those fabulous food books, including In Defense of Food) would say that it's not a bad thing to 'cheat' like this. "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants" encourages me to eat food, not too much, and MOSTLY plants. Not all plants, mostly plants. Mostly plants I can do. I think...

Anyways, I'm starting tomorrow (wish me luck). For the next week or so you can expect....

1) Reviews of Skinny Bitch chapters. Yes, I'll acutally follow through with that.
2) VB6 updates. Which sounds really cool, like it's some kind of James Bond code. Too bad it's just a lot of plants.

Skinny Bitch Smackdown...Postponed

In my eagerness to take Skinny Bitch down, I forgot to see if there was an easily available copy...and as it turns out, there wasn't. This makes it extremely hard to review it, especially when I'm trapped up north sans bookstores/libraries.

SO. I read Mimi Spencer's 101 Things to Do Before You Diet: Because Looking Great Isn't Just About Losing Weight. Although she clearly points out that she doesn't like the term diet (in fact, she uses the slightly saccharine term 'live it'), it still reads like a diet book. And guess what?

Diet books are boring.

I'll admit she had some interesting points (horizontal stripes make you look thinner? According to this study, they do) and I liked her writing style (I actually laughed out loud). I'll also admit that the content of the book was mainly...boring.

Image from http://wholefullysimple.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/in-defense-of-food.jpg

Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food also made it onto my list. This was more interesting, seeing as it *gasp* isn't a diet book and I *second gasp* enjoy reading science and sociology books.

Read this if you are at all interested in food. The manifesto "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." is possibly the most useful seven word piece of advice you'll ever find. It's a fairly short book (200 pages) and goes quickly. Because of this, I don't feel the need to review it in depth...it's easy enough to pick up for yourself. 

Now that I'm back from up north and have access to libraries, book stores, and a variety of food, I'll get my hands on Skinny Bitch and get going on another diet. Diet suggestions? Make a comment! I have a few crafty ideas, but I'm willing to consider anything you guys can think up.